"I found my sensitive side because it has a rash" -Ed

Ed, Edd and Eddy is a good show. Not that I've been watching it recently, but I have been itching a rash lately for all those who care to know. I get these bumps on my arms all the time...

Anyway, now that I've lost the attention of the few people who even read this :-P, who wants a little life update? Not me. Well, days have been up and down. Today was definitely a down one. I was such a bum. Woke up at 10 and took 3 naps. Sick. Well, 2 1/2 naps. I don't think I actually fell asleep during one. I dunno. Some days I actually have hope for my future and then some days I lack the motivation so bad I'm too lazy to even play Nintendo. I know everyone has days like that. But mine seem to go every-other. I finally turned in an app for Saint Cloud State University. We'll see what God does from here. This entry feels so stereotypically xangaish, even though that's what blogs are for. I did just spend an hour reading the online journals/xangas/blogs of every person I could think of that I knew, and I wonder why. I usually check up a couple, but sometimes when I'm so bored and lazy I find myself reading up about tons of people I kinda know, mostly from Northwestern. Nostalgic purposes? Need to find something to make me depressed again? Wondering if I'm ever mentioned in any of their "private" thoughts? Once again, I dunno. But I need to keep realizing that my worth does not come from other people or even being in college. It's a long, rough process.

Sometimes I like to think ahead, God, and imagine that even though I feel so useless during this phase of life I will soon look back and realize that it was not wasted in vain. But then I think of all the things I could be doing....should be doing...shouldn't be doing... and I wonder. Am I a failure? You said that You don't make failures. I'm hanging on to that one small hope...

You'd think that since God's grace is so amazing, so free, and so available to everybody, it would be so easy to accept. But ironically, sometimes it's the hardest thing to do.