Wednesday, March 29

"Congratulations, new employee".

That's all my manager said, then he walked away.
It was almost like they words left a sour taste in his mouth but he didn't want me to realize that. But that's how he is, how it is there, so it made sense.
And it left a sour taste in my heart.

Monday, March 27

Junk food tastes even better when you're sad (and hungry)...

So, as of right now it looks like I'm going to continue living at home this summer and working full time at the place my family has come to know as a dirty word. S******* Sign Co. I guess what I do isn't so bad, but what makes the place so unbearable sometimes is just thinking about the way my mom and dad are treated there. I know I'm overworked and underpaid, but I know my parents are even worse than me. So I don't really have a right to complain. Well, when think about it in God's perspective, I guess no one has the "right" to complain really. I just find it hard that He's still keeping us here in this dysfunctional company. I've prayed for His will and the ability to accept that, but it still doesn't seem to change my desire to move out this summer, live with my friends, and find a DIFFERENT JOB. But it looks like that's not what He wants. But what really bugs me is that was almost all possible...except for the insurance issue. I need to work full time at Showdown to have medical insurance. Which is pretty neccessary right now as I'm still rehabilitating.

The good news: I'm trusting God to get me through all this. So in that way, there really isn't bad news. The frustrating news: Learning how to live with myself. Whoop. Big surprise.

p.s. sorry for lack of updates, i'm behind because i'm overworked and underpaid ;-)

Tuesday, March 7


so, i've been editing this up a bit to take out a couple entries I didn't want anymore and checking the rest of my settings. Even though nobody reads this, i gotta remind myself to be careful. Curse the wicked female emotions....sometimes.

Anyway, I've been thinking about future and life recently, and I'd love to dazzle with inspirational experiences or clever remarks but I'm not that type of person. All I can say is that working fulltime the last couple months has really opened my eyes to the real world. And sometimes the pain of the real world makes me crave for the "NWC bubble" that all the profs and more intuitional students were trying to convince us existed in the first place. Because the real world is so full of hurt and so empty of the God-like qualities we're trying to live for. And, maybe, that's why we're here.